


Erika's Dream

by Philomela Kellswater



Category: Underworld
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2005-04-03
Updated: 2005-05-12
Packaged: 2013-08-31 18:33:04
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,306
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2334207/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/511685/Philomela-Kellswater
Summary: Erika is having a very weird dream, where Lucian offers coffee, Kraven can't open envelopes and have people hiding in his closets, and where Erika is sent to the Elder's crypt with something very unlikely. Humour piece, please read.





	1. Prolouge and Chapter I

All right, I have no idea where this came from, or where it's going. All I know is that this is the result of too much time spent at my grandmother's without anything to read except The Lord Of The Flies. And I own nothing that you can find in the film or the novelazation. All I own is the, hmm, weird plot, and such. And my own spelling mistakes, of course. Because I'm still just a Swedish 15-year-old without a spell checker. So please excuse any mistakes… And remember, it's a dream, so it's weird, and people are out of character… Aren't your dreams like that?

**Erika's Dream**

Prologue

"Now, where on earth have you been?" Dominique asked as Erika entered the room they shared with a couple of other vampire servants.

"I was delayed" Erika said, lying down on her narrow bed.

"What were you doing, snogging one of the guards?" Jacqueline, or Jackie, asked from the other side of the rather small room.

"Oh no, we all know who Erika wants to snog!" Regina said, as she came out from the bathroom.

"Shut up, all of you!" Erika said impatiently. She'd had a long day, and didn't at all feel like discussing that subject right now. Not that she ever did, of course.

"Mind your manners" Dominique said, half joking. Regina snickered at Erika's reaction, but decided to say nothing. She had teased Erika enough for tonight.

"Aren't you at least going to take your frock of, before falling asleep?" Jackie asked. Regina sighed.

"Do you always have to mind everybody's business instead of your own?" she said.

"Like you should be the one to talk" Jackie replied.

"Stop it, both of you! You're giving me a headache" Erika said, sounding tired. "And for you're information, I am going to change, I'm just to tired to do it right now, that's all" Erika mumbled. Regina sat cross-legged on her bed, watching the almost sleeping maidservant.

"Now, tell us! Why were you delayed?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity.

"And she says _I_ should mind my own business?" Jackie whispered to Dominique, who were combing her dark blond hair in front of the mirror.

"None of your business" Erika answered Regina's question, sounding rather annoyed. She slowly sat up, and then rose to take of her long black frock and get in to her nightgown.

"Come on, Erika, we're your friends. You can tell us" Dominique said, lying down on her own bed.

"But I don't want to" Erika snapped, crawling back into her bed and pulling the blanket up to her ears. Servants' quarters were always too cold, even for vampires. "I don't want to talk about it at all" she added after a while. Her room-mates exchanged puzzled looks. What on earth could have made Erika act like this? Usually they stuck together, being at the bottom of the society since they were each less than a mortal lifetime old. Usually they talked about anything. They also, like most servants, gossiped a lot. But not now, and none of them understood why Erika wouldn't talk to them.

"Hey, Erika, is everything all right?" Jackie asked, still combing her long reddish blond hair.

"I'm fine, I just need to sleep" was the doubtful answer.

"Okay, let's sleep then" Jackie said, turning of the light and going to bed.

Chapter I

When sleep finally came to Erika, it wasn't as deep and dreamless as she would have preferred. No, she slept restlessly, and had a very strange dream. At first, she was in the basement under the servants' quarters, hanging up linens covered in blood. She couldn't understand why she should hang them up when they weren't clean at all, but she just continued doing it. She briefly wondered what activities that had made the linens so bloody, since some of them were completely soaked in blood, not a white part on them at all. Then she heard a strange sound, coming from the back of the basement. She pushed the linens aside, and came face to face with a fully transformed growling lycan. Or, that was at least what she thought it was, it fitted the description perfectly. A little over two metres tall, covered in black fur, and long, sharp yellow teeth. Erika screamed in horror, turned around, once again pushing the bloody linens aside, running up the stairs as fast as she could. She truly hoped that the lycan would have trouble following her, since it didn't look like it could walk a staircase, but Erika was not a Death Dealer, and she had never met a lycan before. Which really wasn't a loss. To her relief, she couldn't hear it run after her, and after making sure the basement door was locked, she went to find a Death Dealer, who were trained to take care of such things. Luckily, the first person she ran into was Soren, Lord Kraven's body guard.

"Soren, there's a lycan in the basement!" Erika said, panting. She wasn't used to running.

"Don't be ridiculous, there can't be a lycan in here, we've got a modern security system" Soren answered.

"It's down there right now, I swear it!" Erika said, annoyed.

"Look, I don't have time for this. Besides, it's Death Dealers who take care of such things"

"Please, Soren! You've been a Death Dealer once! Please!"

"All right, I'll check it out, but then you'll have to give this to Lord Kraven, it's very urgent" Soren handed her an envelope with Lord Kraven's name on it, and the words "Vitam et Sanguinem". Grateful that somebody else was taking care of the situation, the blond vampire obediently ran off to Lord Kraven's suite. She respectfully knocked on the door, and then entered. Lord Kraven was sitting at his antique walnut desk, apparently busy with some papers.

"He's a bureaucrat, not a warrior" Selene whispered in Erika's ear, and Erika turned to face the beautiful female Death Dealer.

"What's the difference?" Erika asked.

"Never mind" Selene shrugged, and pulled her fingers through her dark hair. "I'd better go and take care of that lycan in the basement" Selene left without another word. Erika had the feeling that she should ask how Selene could know about the lycan, but before she could speak, her lord addressed her.

"Erika" Lord Kraven said, finally looking up from his papers. "Why are you here?"

"Soren asked me to give this letter to you, my lord" Erika answered, and handed him the envelope. "He said it was urgent" she added after a moment.

"Hmm" Lord Kraven said, his eyes back in his papers.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" a voice, speaking with a crisp British accent said behind her. Erika turned around, and found herself facing a bearded man with long dark messy hair, who gave her a paper mug without waiting for her reply.

"Thank you" Erika said, and carefully took a sip of the hot coffee. It tasted rather nice, warming her up a bit. And then the phone on Lord Kraven's desk rang. Erika spun around in time to see and hear Lord Kraven answer it.

"Lord Kraven of Leicester, current stand-in regent of Ordoghaz" he said. The bearded man behind Erika chuckled, although Erika didn't really understand what was so funny.

"No, I'm sorry, but she passed away somewhile ago" Lord Kraven said. And after a moment: "601 years ago, to be exact" Another moment of silence. "Not at all. The same to you. Bye"

"Who was it for?" the bearded man asked.

"Your wife" Lord Kraven said, trying to open the envelope that Erika had given him.

"Sonja?" the bearded man asked, sounding very surprised.

"Do you have another?" Lord Kraven asked, and Erika giggled in a very girlish manner.

"But she didn't _pass away somewhile ago_. She's hiding in your closet!" the bearded man said, pointing over his shoulder.

"Hmm" Lord Kraven said absentmindedly. He hadn't succeeded in opening the envelope.

"Yes!" the bearded man said, walking over and opening Lord Kraven's closet. "Aren't you, babe?" he said into the closet.

"Am I what, Lucian, honey?" a female voice, obviously Sonja's, said from inside the closet. And then a raven-haired young woman stepped out.

"Hiding in his closet" Lucian explained.

"Not anymore" Sonja replied, smiling brightly.

"Hmm" Lord Kraven said, still trying to open the envelope.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Lucian said again, this time talking to Sonja, who nodded, an received a paper mug. There was a moment of silence. Erika really wanted to know why this beautiful young woman had been in Lord Kraven's closet, obviously for 601 years, but since she was a servant, it wouldn't be appropriate to ask.

"Krave, old buddy?" Lucian said after a while.

"Hmm" Lord Kraven said.

"It's much easier to open an envelope at the other end. That's what they're made for, you know…"

"Aha!" Lord Kraven said, sounding as if Lucian had just had found a new continent. Lord Kraven turned the envelope upside down, and finally opened it. After reading the letter inside, he cried out in fury:

"How could she do this to me? Embarrass me like this? Completely unacceptable! She should do exactly what I tell her to! From now on, she should do what I say! And that is not in anyway unclear!" And so on. Another five minutes of remarks that meant nothing to Erika, since she didn't know what was in the letter.

"Krave, calm down!" Lucian said. "What's in that letter?" Lord Kraven didn't answer, but growled like rabid dog.

"He's been around you for too long, love" Sonja said, pointing at Lord Kraven.

"Well, I'm in league with him, after all…" Lucian said.

"We'll have a long talk about this later" Sonja said warningly.

"She can't order me! I'm not going to do it!" Kraven went on.

"Going to do what, you madman?" Sonja asked.

"Come on, love, he's not a madman. He's just a little upset" Lucian said.

"I've been hiding in his closet for 601 years, I should know. And believe me, he _is_ a madman!"

"Really?"

"Believe me, honey, I could tell you things that would give you nightmares!"

"Try me" Lucian said with a smirk. Before Sonja could reply, Lord Kraven cried out again.

"I'm not doing it! I'm not going down there! She can't order me!"

"Right, fine, whatever. What, exactly, is it that you won't do?" Sonja asked again.

"Arrrgh!" Lord Kraven said, and then he grabbed a stapler from his desk, which he threw at Erika, whose reflexes made her catch it. But it also made her drop her half-empty coffee mug on Lord Kraven's imported Persian carpet. Nobody seemed to notice, luckily enough.

"Take that to the Elders' crypt" Lord Kraven ordered. Sonja tried to hide her giggling. Lucian didn't even try, he roared of laughter. Erika did neither, she just went out, obediently following her lord's order, not matter how weird. Luckily, the Elder's crypt was situated much deeper down then the basement where Erika had seen the lycan, so there was no risk she would see it again.

"You're here with the stapler?" the guard, whose name she distantly recalled as Duncan, asked her when she entered the showing room. Erika held up the stapler where he could see it, which made him chuckle, and open the door to the crypt itself. Erika stepped down the stairs, and then kneeled, unable to believe that she actually saw what she saw. This wasn't normal. Not normal at all…

To be continued… Sometime…

Now, please, I beg you, review, because I'm dying to know what you think. Please!


	2. Chapter II

Thank you so much for your reviews! Those mean a lot, because without reviews, I don't go on writing. I own nothing you recognise, except weird plot and such and a character or two. Don't own the lyrics either… And the Viktor and Amelia calling each other darling thing, is not a hint that they are lovers, but just something my wicked mind came up with. Hey, they're calling everybody else dear, so… Just wanted to make that clear to you all. On with the chapter, which, just like the previous one, is quite insane, as one of my reviewer's put it.

**Erika's Dream**

Chapter II

Erika couldn't believe her eyes. Inside the crypt, was a large blue plastic table, which didn't use to be there. All three vampire Elders were sitting around it, surrounded by boxes, files, and heaps of papers and pencils. At one corner, Lady Amelia and Lord Marcus seemed to be playing chess, while Lord Viktor was busy with the papers. He looked up when Erika entered and kneeled at the door, and smiled brightly towards her.

"Hello, dear" he said. "Are you here with the stapler?"

"Yes, my lord" she said, rising, and respectfully putting the stapler on the table.

"Thank you, dear, I really needed that" Lord Viktor said, immediately starting to use it.

"Vicky, darling, you've been doing that for almost an hour now" Lady Amelia said.

"I know, but our archives really needed reorganising" Lord Viktor answered.

"I can certainly see that, but darling, do you really have to do it yourself?" Lady Amelia said.

"Well, I don't have to, but if there's something I've learnt from immortality, darling, is that if I want anything done the proper way, I have to do it myself"

"If you say so, Vicky, darling. And you, dear, can you take that to Selene?" Lady Amelia turned towards Erika, and pointed at a wooden box on the floor.

"Yes, my lady" Erika said, picking up the box. Judging by its weight, it was empty, or at least very close to.

"Thank you dear, that's very kind of you" Lady Amelia said, returning her gaze to the game in front of her. Erika turned away and walked out of the crypt.

"And thanks again for the stapler" Lord Viktor said as she walked through the door.

Erika was just about to knock on the door to Selene's quarters, when she heard music coming from in there, and a female voice singing.

_So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless_

Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny 

_This loving feeling_

_Make me long for your kiss_

_Go on, go on_

_Yeah..._

Erika knocked, not sure what to believe. This wasn't really the kind of music she would have imagined Selene listening to, if she could imagine Selene listening to music at all.

"Come in" Selene's voice was heard from the other side of the door. Erika opened, and in there were Selene, and a young woman Erika had never seen before. She was small, with long brown messy hair falling down to her waist, and her clothes were very worn-out and dusty. But what was really surprising was that both this girl and Selene were drinking Sprite and listening to the Corrs.

"Hi Erika" Selene said. "This is Pandi" she added, pointing at her friend, who was casually sitting on Selene's modern-looking desk, and when she heard her name, waved at Erika. Said blond vampire put down the wooden box on the floor next to Selene's chair.

"Lady Amelia asked me to give this to you" she explained.

"Hmmm, I don't remember today being my birthday" Selene said. "What day is it?"

"Wednesday" Pandi said after a moment of thought. "Or Thursday, can't really remember" Selene dropped to her knees and tried to open the box. After about fifteen seconds, she exclaimed:

"This is hopeless! Does anybody got a claw-wrench?"

"Nah, I've got a can-opener, if that helps?"

"I wouldn't think so" Selene replied. "Why do you have a can-opener with you?"

"I stole it from Lucian last week" Pandi shrugged.

"Why did you do that?" Erika couldn't help asking.

"Imagine his face next time he wants to open a can, and can't find his opener" Pandi said with a wicked grin.

"Forgive me for asking, but who often do you lycans eat canned food?" Selene wondered curiously.

"Oh, we eat that every now and then" Pandi said vaguely.

"Really? Why?" Selene asked.

"Because then you know it's not Lucian that cooked it" Pandi said.

"He's a bad cook?"

"The worst. Pray you'll never taste his stew of human flesh" Pandi seemed to shiver at the mere thought.

"I thought you lycans liked human flesh" Selene sounded very surprised. Erika gave disgusted sound at the thought of eating anything human.

"We do, but certainly not in stew! Human flesh doesn't go well with either gravy or potatoes. In stew we prefer chicken"

"I see" Selene said, continuing in her attempt to open the box. After a while, Pandi grew impatient, and jumped down on the floor to help her out. The only difference was that Pandi now had long claws, which were very useful, since she easily could open the box. It was not empty, after all.

"What the hell?" Pandi said, picking up a pink fleece blanket.

"Oh, I told Amelia that this place often is very cold during daytime, so I suppose she tried to help me…" Selene said, slightly embarrassed. Pandi snickered.

"I'd never thought that vampires used pink…" She was interrupted by Lucian, who flung the door open with a BLAM!

"Pandi!" he yelled. "Have you stolen my lighter again!"

"Haven't you ever heard about knocking?" Selene said, before Pandi got the chance to answer. But Erika judged by her guilty face that she indeed was the thief.

"Have you!" Lucian yelled, completely ignoring Selene, and staring angrily at Pandi, who just grinned a little. She began searching the pockets of her knee-long leather jacket, and after a while, she found the lighter and threw it at Lucian.

"Now, is there anything else that might have found it's way into your pockets?" Lucian asked, still glaring. Pandi didn't seem to be at all bothered by the fierce lycan's looks, she just grinned even wider.

"Are you missing something?" she asked innocently.

"You tell me" Lucian answered, not even the slightest smile on his features.

"And spoil all the fun? Never! Aldrig i livet!"

"Pandi!" Lucian said warningly.

"What? It's not as if you need all that stuff you're caring around. Take the lighter for example, you gave up smoking centuries ago, and you still keep it in one of your left pockets"

"There are other things than cigarettes that can be lit by a lighter" Lucian pointed out, "And you know that very well, you little pyromaniac"

"Matches are easier. Can you give one example of something that should be lit by a lighter?"

"Kraven's office" Lucian shrugged.

"Would be just as well burnt down if we use matches" Pandi said stubbornly.

"Are you really going to burn his office down?" Erika asked, shocked.

"None of your business" Pandi said.

"You may go now, Erika" Selene said. Erika obediently stepped out of Selene's quarters, and decided to warn Lord Kraven, in case they would actually try to burn his office down. But on her way there, she bumped in to the raven-haired woman from Lord Kraven's closet, Sonja.

"Oh, hello" Sonja said, smiling. "Have you seen Lucian anywhere around?"

"Yes, my lady, he's in Selene's quarters"

"Yelling at Pandi for stealing his lighter, I expect" Sonja smiled even wider.

"Something like that, yes" Erika said, unable to not smile back.

"I'd better go and stop him from strangling her. Could you do me a favor, then?"

"Of course, my lady"

"Can you take this to Kahn, I think it's urgent, but stopping Lucian from strangling one of his pack mates if more so, I think"

"Certainly, my lady" Erika said, taking the dark green glass bottle Sonja gave her. Then she was headed for the dojo, where Kahn almost always could be found.

"I feel like Alice in Wonderland" Erika muttered to herself, "Being sent everywhere with strange things"

To be continued… Sometime…

Now, please review, that would really make me extremely happy, and then I might write next chapter a little faster…


	3. Chapter III: Arguments With the Author

As always, I own nothing you recognise. And even if you don't recognise it, it's not very likely that I own it. I'm not making money, just having a bit of fun. And, as always, thanks for reviews, they mean more than you might be aware of. And remember, people, this is a dream, it's insane. And so am I.

**Erika's Dream**

Chapter III

Erika went up all the stairs to the dojo, which was situated in the attic. She was not altogether familiar with these surroundings, since she was just a servant wench and not a Death Dealer, but she still found Kahn very easily. He was actually quite difficult to miss, since he was at the firing range, shooting at some very lycan-like targets. When he saw Erika coming, he lowered his gun, looking slightly surprised. She was, after all, not a common sight in the dojo, she was only there whenever Lord Kraven found reason to go up there and take her with him.

"Lady Sonja asked me to give this to you" Erika said, putting the glass bottle on a table. She was not completely sure if Sonja should be referred to as lady, but she suspected so. By some reason, Erika thought she was some relative of Lord Viktor, but she didn't know why she thought so.

"Thanks" Kahn said, and shot another ceramic bust into pieces. "Why didn't she bring it herself?" he added afterwards.

"She was busy" Erika explained.

"Oh, really? Never mind, the important thing is that I got it"

"What is it?" Erika asked curiously.

"Nothing, really" Kahn answered, his mind back to the targets in front of him. Erika, who realised Kahn didn't want her company, looked around. On the floor, not very far from her, was a red plastic bucket, filled with something that looked a lot like water. It looked a lot like the buckets that were part of the servant's cleaning equipment, but she had no idea why it was there. So she asked.

"Oh, well…" Kahn asked, "one of the servant girls out it there, saying I should take it and some Death Dealers and immediately go to Kraven's office, but well, I had more important things to do, so, well… You can take it down there, if you don't have anything better to do…"

"Sure, I'll do it" Erika said, sighing. And she was off again, heading for Lord Kraven's office for at least the third time that night.

Said office was complete mayhem when Erika arrived. The lycans and Selene hadn't been joking after all, since it looked like it had been a fire in there. Everything was completely covered in ash, including Lord Kraven's antique walnut desk and imported Persian carpet. In there were also a lot of people, most of them unknown to Erika, all looking at Lord Kraven, who was standing in the middle of the room, yelling something about "completely unacceptable". Nobody looked up when Erika entered, except Pandi, who looked extremely bored.

"Hi" Pandi greeted her, as Erika walked up beside her. "He's been yelling for at least twenty-two minutes, and hasn't said a sane thing in the last twenty-one"

"You really set his office on fire, then?" Erika asked, although the answer was quite obvious.

"What does it look like? Never mind, I'm fed up with that prick, let's silence him" And with that, Pandi took the bucket from Erika, and emptied it over Lord Kraven's head. It took three seconds, before everybody started laughing at the amusing sight of a furious, wet and rabid-looking Kraven. But of course, Kraven didn't laugh.

"Arrrgh!" he said, looking completely mad. "Why did you do that?" he asked Pandi furiously

"Because, well, I don't know, I just did it" Pandi shrugged.

"I want a straight answer to that question! Why did you pour water over me?" Lord Kraven yelled, pointing at her. Pandi looked at him, slightly annoyed.

"Because, well. I just did, you stupid twit! I didn't expect to being question about it afterwards, you should have warned me, and then I might have prepared a _straight answer to that question!"_ Pandi looked almost as mad as Lord Kraven.

"Why did she pour water over me!" Lord Kraven shouted. "What's the point of that!"

"She's right, you know, with all your questions, you should have given us time to prepare, we weren't expecting the Spanish Inquisition" a large black lycan said. Suddenly. three men dressed in red robes came running though the open doorway.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" the one in the middle said. Before he could go on, the black lycan had grabbed the now empty bucket from Pandi, and thrown it at the mid-section of the man in the middle.

"Ouch, that hurt! Biggles, get the rack!" the man in the middle said.

"Get out, you're not supposed to be here!" Lucian said, looking as if he was about to explode. The three men disappeared.

"Am I the only one who's starting to feel that this place is going completely mad?" Lucian asked.

"What do you mean, _going_? This place has been mad for as long as I've lived here" Sonja pointed out.

"You've been living in here, no wonder you think it's mad" Selene said.

"You know, this place is actually much nicer since you guys burned it" Sonja said. "The smell's much better"

"The smell?" Lucian asked.

"Yes, the smell, darling. His closet smelled terribly of rotten soap"

"Excuse me, love, but soap can't be rotten. Are you sure the stupid little author didn't mistype and meant soup?" Lucian said, sounding doubtful.

"Perfectly sure, sweetheart. I said it smelled of rotten soap, and then it did" Sonja said stubbornly.

"If you say so, dear" Lucian said, looking defeated.

"And now, that we've cleared that up, what do you suggest we do now?" Lord Kraven said.

"Let's all sit down and smoke …" Selene suggested.

"Good idea" Kraven said, and sat down on the ashy floor. Everybody followed his example, sitting down on whatever was near, searching their pockets for something to smoke. Most people were able to find their cigarettes, but none could find their lighters or matches.

"My hover-craft is full of eels" one of the lycans said, but nobody in there had watched mortal television that much, except Pandi, who laughed a lot. Nobody else understood the joke. As the room fell silent, most people were glaring at Pandi, Lucian and Selene.

"What are you staring at? Look, we needed a lot of matches to burn this place down, do you know how difficult it is to set a ceramic vase on fire?" Lucian tried to excuse himself.

"But Lucian, you have a lighter" Erika carefully pointed out. "Why didn't you use it?"

"I have a lighter? Why would I have a lighter, I gave up smoking centuries ago" Lucian said, puzzled.

"Look, that's what happens when you get as old as he is!" Pandi burst out. "You get completely senile! Of course you have a lighter, I gave it back to you not half an hour ago!"

If this was a cartoon, a light bulb would have appeared above Lucian's head, but this is just a fanfiction, which means Lucian just looked as if Pandi had just found a new continent.

"Now I remember! But what I can't remember, is where I put it…"

"Your left pocket" Pandi said.

"Now, what would I do without you, Pandi?" Lucian said, picking up his lighter.

"Remember everything on your own, maybe? Now, hand that over, I need a smoke"

Lucian's lighter was passed around the room, which was soon filled with dark grey smoke and an awful smell. Which caused all the lycans with their sensitive sense of smell sound like they were suffering from bronchitis.

"Honestly, people, why do you smoke if it makes you cough?" Selene asked.

"Fair question. Afraid I can't answer that one," Pandi said, interrupted when Lucian started to cough violently.

"Excuse me, Miss Author, how on earth can I cough _violently_, when I'm not even sure how to do that violently?" Lucian said, speaking to the author and looking at the ceiling. And then a voice came from above:

"I have actually no idea, Lucian, dear, I just needed an adjective in that sentence to make it less boring."

"You are already boring, and I think you are running out of ideas," Sonja said. "And stop hitting on my husband!"

"Hey, don't order me around, or I'll make sure you get locked in that closet for another six centuries!" the little author girl said, slightly annoyed.

"You can't, you don't own me!" Sonja said, also slightly annoyed.

"But I do own this fanfiction, in which you are in at the moment. So shut up. And, for hitting on your husband, I can do that as much as I like. And if you want to yell at anybody flirting with your husband, yell at Pandi, you should see what I make her do in another fanfiction…" the author said, giggling like a madman. Or a madwoman. Sonja glared at Pandi, who blushed.

"Are you referring to 'Hybrid Eyes'?" Selene asked the author.

"Of course. And if you don't behave nicely, I will put it up, and make fools out of you all. And myself, since it's such crap I even don't want to read it myself"

"Now stop that, and get on with this!" a young American l said from under a table.

"Michael!" the author exclaimed. "What are you doing in my story? Never mind, I'll continue this. Where were I?"

"I was just coughing violently" Lucian said.

"All right, you do that, and I'll think out of someway to end this madness. Bye bye everybody!" And with that, the never-visible author went invisible.

"She is so annoying!" Lucian said.

"We know, but follow her example and get on with it!" Michael said impatiently.

"Why me? I've forgotten what I was supposed to do!" Lucian defended himself.

"She may be flirting with you, but at least Pandi is right in something. You _are_ senile, love. And, for your information, you were coughing violently" Sonja said, sighing. And if this was a cartoon, a second light bulb would have appeared above Lucian's head, but this is, tack och lov, not a cartoon. Lucian coughed violently.

Erika wondered whether it was her, or anybody else that had gone mad.

**To be continued…As soon as I decide to write the fourth and last chapter**


End file.
